Guided By Biet

Meditation teacher Biet Simkin answers Purist readers’ questions.
Shock is a vehicle for a calling—to your future. Photo: Pexels

Dear Biet,

My husband of 18 years just came out of the closet as gay. I am heartbroken. He is leaving me. How do I carry on?


Jenny, California

Dear Jenny,

This is heartbreaking and also very good news. You don’t want to go on living a lie together! The truth is being set free and so are you. There is nothing more bright and alive than truth. While it is a shock, the “law of shocks,” as mentioned in my book, Don’t Just Sit There!, is a vehicle for a calling. You are being called. Called to your future. Called to a greater joy and pleasure in your life. You gotta pick up the call, girl! This isn’t the end as your head is trying to scare you into believing. It’s the beginning! Let him fly and get your wings.

Love, Biet

Dear Biet,

I can’t stop drinking. I want to but I keep doing it. How did you stop? What should I do?


Anonymous, San Francisco


I hear you. I have been there. Some people are just heavy drunks…they can take it or leave it. If you’re the variety of drunk who can’t stop when you actually want to, you may want to try a 12-step recovery program. If you do decide to do a 12-step program I want to warn you: It’s not gonna look cute. It’s a weird thing with strange people in a fluorescent basement usually. If you can get past all that weirdness, I know this route works for real alcoholics. In the end being a “real alcoholic” is the best thing that will ever happen to you, once you admit it. Even if you’re not a “real alcoholic” I promise you, to stop drinking when you can’t, you will need to pick up new practices to supplement the lack of alcohol. Tools like meditation, prayer, spiritual texts, movement and much more. No drunk ever gives up drinking unless they have a good swap-out. Sending you magic love as you find your way.

Love, Biet

Dear Biet,

I have nothing to complain about. I have everyone a boy could want. I am super-materialistic, and I have all my boxes checked in life. I can’t seem to drag myself to meditate. Something in me says it will help me but how, why? How do you drag yourself to spiritual sh-t when you have all of the “stuff” life has to offer?

Thanks, Royce, NYC

Dear Royce,

You’re hilarious. I love you already! Meditation isn’t just for people who are struggling. Do you really have it all? I know as someone who has it all…. I have nothing unless I have the satisfied conscious state! I have nothing unless I am without anxiety and stress! I have nothing unless I have a willingness to go to any lengths to feel alive and amazing. Anyone can sip a cosmo by a pool. I surely don’t think that’s the accomplishment you want described in your eulogy. The question I would ask myself if I were you would be: How full of sh-t am I? And am I willing to get really raw and honest with my true desires in life. ’Cause I assure you, your true desires—they are grander than you can imagine.

Go go go Royce! I am cheering you on!

Love, Biet