Dear Biet,
I feel like I am a bad person, that I have something to hide. It comes up a lot when I am around others. I get massively tired cause I feel like I am so alone, and that if people knew me really, they wouldn’t like me. Due to this, I am kind of a loner, and am only close to my husband and kids. Do you have any recommendations?
Thanks,
Kelly F., Mexico City
Kelly,
How does it feel, hiding out in your own life? Look, your life isn’t meant to be like a Where’s Waldo? artwork where you are hard to find. You are meant to stand out and be yourself. Now don’t get me wrong, we are all hidden from ourselves, even the great masters. This is because what is real always remains hidden in plain sight. “God,” whatever that means to you, is unprovable. Just like that, it will be unprovable that you matter. You think enough beauty, skinniness, accomplishments, money and fitting in will do it, but nope! What’s real is always concealed. As long as your love is conditional, you’ll be kept from it. I’ll ask you a question: If it was meaningless and you could do it just for fun…would you wanna be seen? If I told you that your value won’t increase if you acquire this ability and things…would you still do it? That’s your answer. If you do it because you wanna really taste intimacy, giving, kindness, your capacity for usefulness, you’ll be less scared. So come on off the page, Waldo. Let’s figure out what you came here to be!
Love,
Biet
Dear Biet,
I feel so stuck in my marriage, like I am basically living with a roommate, not a lover. What do you recommend? I sometimes daydream of divorce. Do I leave my husband? Start all over? I make all the money, and I am not even sure what I need him for.
Annoyed,
Alisa, Nevada
Dear Alisa,
Welcome to the new world of female breadwinners. So confusing, huh? I know! Just think, your mother and grandmother and beyond never experienced what you’re experiencing. You have zero epigenetic stuff to lean on here. This is why my dear friend and incredible coach Annie Leavitt and I started Wifestyle, an online community for rewiring for maximum pleasure, abundance and results! The system we’ve created is easy. It teaches you how to relearn how to be receptive and feminine again! Please find me @guidedbybiet for more info, and to join. We have saved so many marriages with this work. In the meantime, while you’re reading this: My initial advice is stop trying to be right and compete with your husband. Men don’t wanna compete with their wives. They wanna shower them with love and adore them! Bet you miss that, don’t you? Lastly, it won’t get solved by you finding a new husband. You will just create this whole mess all over again after the honeymoon ends. Can’t wait to guide you more.
Love,
Biet
Dear Biet,
I go crazy as I am aging, because I feel like I am always competing with all my female friends and co-workers. I think about wanting to be the most pretty, the most powerful. No amount of Botox or dieting seems to do the trick. I still come up short sometimes, and even when I “win,” I feel bad.
Thanks,
Jane D., Florida
Dear Jane,
Women weren’t made to compete. We feel more alone and disconnected from the source when we compete with each other. I think about the years I wasted thinking that if I didn’t look like Françoise Hardy, I was worthless. But one day a friend said to me, Biet, you sing like Stevie Nicks, you’re that good. Stevie Nicks was kind of older at this point…and my friend said, would you rather sing like Stevie Nicks or sing like Françoise Hardy? And no offense to Françoise, she is amazing, but I chose Stevie hands down! It was at that moment I realized that there are gifts that are more important than perfect beauty. Instead of being prettier, try just forgiving yourself for judging yourself and everyone so harshly. And laugh! A good laugh is way hotter than anything Botox ever did or can do.
Love (and no judgment),
Biet