Sex & Happiness at Every Age

In conversation with Laurie Handlers of PleazeMe, a sex-positive digital platform that helps users discover their authentic selves.

Pleasure is your birthright. If you weren’t born to have pleasure you would have been born of wood, steel or glass. If you are reading this, you were born with skin and it’s your largest sensory organ as a human being. Think about how it feels to walk in a breeze, to jump in the cool ocean on a hot day, to get into a warm bath or be kissed passionately on your neck! Regardless of your age, a commonality we have with one another is a desire to be happy and experience all kinds of pleasure. After all, if you aren’t happy, what are you? If you are not experiencing pleasure, what are you experiencing?

At our mission is to increase the world’s happiness quotient one member at a time by supporting their access and connection to pleasure, intimacy and sex. As human beings, it is critical that we have private access and permission to anonymously explore our relationship with ourselves, our body, our sexuality, our intimate relationships and our desires. In hopes to enrich your life, we reached out to one of our social Channel owners, Laurie Handlers who is a world renown author, educator and intimacy coach. Her best selling book, Sex & Happiness: The Tantic Laws of Intimacy, takes the reader on a journey of discovery and pleasure through practices and principles that can be applied to all aspects of our lives to create more joy and bliss. Here, Laurie shares some nuggets of wisdom on how to achieve sex and happiness and every age.

PleazeMe: Why do you think sex and happiness are connected?

Laurie Handlers: In the Yogic chakra system the sacral center is the center for pleasure and also pain. Happiness is tremendously dependent on how much pleasure you can allow yourself and how much pain you are willing to let go of. Pain equals trauma, memories, fears, and shame. Pleasure equals everything else. Everything that the universe has: do I want power, sex and money? Do I want beautiful things? Do I want beautiful love? Do I want to be healthy and have vitality? Do I want to create? Am I an artist, a painter, a poet, a speaker, a business person, a decorator, a fashionista? All of these are connected to the sacral chakra. So sex and happiness go hand in hand.

Various powers in our world have sought to control sex because they knew how powerful it is and how it is connected to creation, personal empowerment and happiness. In order to control the population to follow orders and rules, sex has been shamed and controled. It is literally the seat of everything creative. Housed in that center is procreation. There is a mysterious thing that happens. A sperm fertilizes an egg, and it is 40 quadrillion to 1 that any of those eggs will be fertilized, and then the miracle of life happens. Procreation and the creation of anything gets the spark of creation in the sacral (creation) chakra. Most humans think that we create everything in our head. However, If we open up that portal, the flow of body/mind is much more powerful than just using your left brain. Let yourself breathe and let sexual energy flood your body and creation will happen.

PM: What are some of your sex and happiness tips for each age?


30s – Set boundaries and speak your truth! No one can please you if you don’t know how to please yourself. Explore your body and learn how you experience pleasure and orgasm and communicate your experience.

40s – Practice emotional release and learn to make love in the unknown.

50s – Please yourself – Find out what brings you pleasure and give it to yourself.

60s – Your vitality is connected to your pleasure. Practice intentional sex and radical selfcare.

Deeper explanation of these tips can be found in Laurie’s Book Sex & Happiness.

PM: What would you say to people who are 40, 50, and 60 that are not experiencing sex and happiness because they have core belief conflicts or upbringing restrictions who never felt like they had permission to explore this part of their life?

LH: I would just say get a hold of my book if any of this calls to you. If you’re puzzled, stumped, concerned or scared get my book or go to my website and send me an email. I’m concerned with your quality of life and I’ve worked with many people, thousands and thousands of people, who were brought up just like you. Who said no I shouldn’t be talking about this. I shouldn’t be in a class like this because of my religion, my parents, my public opinion in my head. My internalized public opinion said no I shouldn’t do this and yet something was missing in my life and it’s so simple, it’s been there all along.

More about Laurie Handlers:

Laurie Handlers is an educator, author, and Sex & Happiness Coach. As a speaker and facilitator, she has taught transformational workshops since 1978 covering topics like how to heal the body, releasing past emotional trauma, stopping the aging process, and reducing stress. Our philosophy is to give yourself permission to fall totally in love with yourself and embrace everything about you, even desire. Then you are able to define your personal integrity. We find that integrity allows you to stand strong in your life in the face of complete fear, anger, judgment and resistance.

Follow Laurie’s channel on PleazeMe

Face to Face Interview with Laurie Handlers: Sex over 60: It only gets better!

More about Pleazeme:

Anonymous, Fun, Free & For Adults 21+! As an anonymous member of PleazMe you can connect, shop, learn and play all in a universe that is tailored to your stated preferences. PleazeMe is committed to those who choose to be accountable for moving the love, joy, and bliss dial towards a more fulfilling life—and having the freedom and security to be more expressive, without judgment, while dating or in a relationship. PleazeMe is an efficient, solution-driven community platform providing the personalized tools and education to safely explore a satisfying sexual journey towards an exchange that is good for you and good for the world. PleazeMe holds the highest standards in healthy, loving, and compassionate human relationships, an increased awareness of inner personal peace, happiness, and compassion manifests into healthy and thriving communities.

PleazeMe is curating relevant and reliable content that improve users’ sex lives and relationships, keep them up-to-date on sexy events and sensual travel destinations, and soon, a sex toy store that delivers recommendations tailored to members’ specific tastes.

Founder/CEO Heather C. Montgomery created PleazeMe to challenge the status quo as it relates to the way people treat sex in life and in society, especially for women. “Healthy relationships with ourselves, with others and with sexuality increase our quality of life. I think many people are ready and looking for greater quality in their lives.”