By Dr. Aliza Pressman
We don’t have to be perfect parents the moment our kids are born—or ever. The science shows us that our own learning curves are key to the whole process of raising good humans. So much of the expectation in parenting is that we’re going to raise our children to be good and well adjusted—that their development is the only outcome we should be invested in—but I’ve learned that our own parallel path of development as parents can be at least as meaningful. In raising our kids, we, as the adults, get beautiful opportunities to grow into our own maturity, into our own hope, will and wisdom.
We do that by returning to these five principles that also lead to resilience: Relationships, Regulation, Reflection, Rules and Repair. Through all our doubts, and even our difficult moments as parents, through times when we might feel isolated or insufficient, we ourselves can use these principles and the practices I outline in this book to become more confident, more grounded and more integrated—to embody the sense of being good humans like we want our kids to grow into.
Excerpted from The 5 Principles of Parenting by Dr. Aliza Pressman. Purchase the book at simonandschuster.com. Join Pressman in conversation with Martha Stewart on January 23 at 7:30PM ET online or at the Buttenwieser Hall at The Arnhold Center (92Y, NYC). Tickets can be purchased here.