Dear Biet,
I feel like I hate my partner. We have been together for 12 years, and while most of that was happy times, I can’t help but feel over it. He has been going through a tough time and so I feel bad just up and leaving him, but I am so fed up. What would you do?
Thanks, Loren, New Zealand
Loren,
I would ask myself what I would want him to do if the tables were turned. For me, the answer is kindness. If I am over something, I have to check first if the upset is in me, to see if things can be changed in me that produce a miracle. Then I have to try those things. If after all that, I still want to leave, then that’s more insight. You guys have had 12 years together. It seems worth it to try to clean up your side of the street. The truth is, no partner is perfect. My suggestion is this: Go become great. Do whatever it takes to make yourself the best person you can be. Then from that place, ask yourself again how you feel about your partner.
Warmly, Biet
Dear Biet,
I am an interior decorator, and in my spare time I make sculpture and decorate as a hobby as well. Lately, I feel like all I can do is overeat and feel sad. I have zero drive to create. While I am still employed and getting by, I feel a lackluster feeling of emptiness. What am I missing?
Empty, Chi Town
Empty,
I hear you. All creatives go through slumps. There is stagnant energy in your body, and you need to move it around. I highly recommend somatic practices, as well as workouts as a way of healing this. When it comes to food, it can be helpful to admit that we have some form of addiction. Calling a spade a spade can be the simple thing that sets us free. You need to get in there and begin creating again, even if it’s for 10 minutes a day. Things will start to change. I also think it’s helpful to see a nutritionist and get blood work done, to find out what it is you’re lacking. Also, I would add prayer. Just get in there, and ask the universe, or God, or whatever you call it, to help you come back into your body and be your true self.
Love, Biet
Dear Biet,
I read in your book, Don’t Just Sit There!, that there is a “Law of Accident,” when everything in your life is by accident and nothing is on purpose. I can’t help but feel I am in that now. I had a car accident a few months ago. I am fine, but it set my life into chaos and frightened me. My daughter won’t stop taking drugs and acting out, and I can’t seemingly do anything to help her. I feel like every career move I try fails. Is this the Law of Accident? If so, how do I get out?
Thanks, Margarin, New York
Margarin,
Getting out of the “Law of Accident” is about listening for a message. What is the message these shocking incidents are trying to provide you with? Here are tools to help you find out: 1. Begin praying daily, and ask in prayer that the higher power, whatever you believe in, gives you the message. Ask to be shown signs. Answers will come. 2. If you don’t have one already, begin a meditation practice. This will give you time to listen for answers. Start with five minutes, and work your way up to 30 minutes. 3. Take time every day to be in gratitude for what is, and also for all the benevolent news that is coming. Write gratitude lists. Feel the feeling of experiencing your current abundance, and your future results. Keep me posted!
Love, Biet
Dear Biet,
How to survive summer with work, two kids, summer camps, and all sorts of beautiful messes?
Nina, Hudson Valley, NY
Nina,
The first thing to remember is that most people choose to live small lives, so that they won’t confront these problems. How wonderful it is that you’ve chosen to create a life with so much joy that you’re overwhelmed by it. I find that my breath work is super-helpful for slowing down time. The good news is it only takes four minutes to do one round of it. I would recommend doing three rounds a day, which should take you no more than 10 minutes. Devote time every day to writing a gratitude list. This will help greatly.
Love, Biet
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